The Neon Casket: Charlie's Last Dance

-by Fragile Faithe

Fancy meeting you here. Welcome to the Neon Casket, a repository for unexplained video, lost media, mystery and intrigue, and arguing in the comments over whether the Patterson film is real or not. I'm your host and sysadmin Faithe, and I thought we'd start off the new, revamped servers with a classic: Charlie's Last Dance. This is a pretty popular request, so I'm getting ahead of this one to save my poor, poor inbox. 

While it was still active, Fuchi developed a line of flatscreen recordings intended to offer positive, calming visuals and sounds for people who live deep in the inner city. Fuchi advertised more than a dozen similar product lines as a substitute for a real window, since each recording lasts sixteen hours before looping. 

>>>>>[Fuchi was already on its last legs at this point. Their film division's future was left uncertain, and they likely used this as a last-ditch effort to massage their profit margins before the merger hit.]<<<<<

- Dr. Gatter

>>>>>[It makes sense: bizarrely cheap recordings done with extremely expensive technology.]<<<<<

- Mr. Director

>>>>>[When a content creator is completely out of ideas, they do ASMR. Even Megacorps, apparently.]<<<<<

- Lazarus

Officially, the track in question is titled "Seascape Adventures Track #29: Santa Monica Nights". The recording features a static shot of a beach in Santa Monica with view of the distant pier. The beach is closed despite being in-season, so the view is peaceful, serene, and completely absent of people. The soundscape is filled with surf, seagulls, and the distant hustle and bustle of the pier.

Nothing happens for the first seven hours of the recording. At 7:05:05, the sun begins to set and the lights of the pier start to come alive. Shortly after, a man in a neutral gray suit wanders onto the beach from Camera Right, the footpath. He's disheveled, and removing his tie as he walks. He's carrying a bottle in his other hand. The man wanders the beach dejectedly until answering a phone call at 7:48:46. The audible portions of the call are as follows. 

Charlie Nelson, senior risk analysist. Yes sir, I know. I know, sir. Tomorrow I'll- (Charlie is silent for approximately four minutes) I get it. No, just mail my stuff to my house.

>>>>>[Aww. Hey Charlie, how's corpo life treating you? Lol. ]<<<<<

- Lazarus

>>>>>[Is anyone able to pick up the other half of the conversation here?]<<<<<
- Placeholder Jones

>>>>>[I've got nothing. Fuchi used bleeding-edge microphones for these, but they're omni-directional and too far away. Whatever he got fired for, it's being drowned out by seagulls.]<<<<<

- Mr. Director

At this point, Charlie sits down in the sand, pinching the bridge of his nose. He begins to drink from his bottle, presumed to be whisky or rum.

>>>>>[It's ARES Revelry Black Label. Expensive whisky, not the kind of thing you find in a stuffer shack.]<<<<<

- &T885K90M1

 He takes his jacket off at 8:10:56 and discards it in the sand next to him. He wanders around the beach, drinking, until 9:15:40 when he makes a phone call of his own to leave a voice-mail message, judging by the sharp beep his pocket secretary makes. A transcript is as follows. 

Hey, Barb. I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all the fighting lately. Work's been stressful, but I talked to Mr. Collin and I think everything's gonna be okay. I'm working late tonight, but tomorrow we can talk about those papers. If you still want to. Tell Angie I love her.

At this point, Charlie's bottle is 1/4th full. He drops his pocket secretary onto the sand and starts to dance. 

>>>>>[So someone RECOVERED the POCKET SECRETARY, Right?]<<<<<

- Clank

>>>>>[Renraku seized all Fuchi property after the merger. If the recording team picked it up, it's sitting in some Renraku storehouse somewhere, collecting dust.]<<<<<

- Dr. Gatter

>>>>>[That's usually a crowded beach. Someone, somewhere had to have grabbed it. Whether it was a Fuchi employee or some beach bum the next day, someone's got it.]<<<<<

- Vacancy

He performs a slow, ballroom-style dance by himself, arms held out for an invisible partner, for several minutes. At 9:31:05, Charlie drinks the remainder of the bottle in one motion, drops it onto the beach, and walks into the ocean to the camera's left. Nothing unusual happens for the remainder of the recording's sixteen hour runtime. 

>>>>>[What are the chances our boy Charlie just wandered off and passed out off-camera?]<<<<<

- Andrew Jackson

>>>>>[There's nothing but ocean in the direction he walked. Even if he just felt like taking a swim? With a whole bottle of The Good Stuff in him, he's fish food.]<<<<<

- Grinder

"Seascape Adventures Track #29: Santa Monica Nights" was available for sale for eighteen hours before it was pulled down due to "video corruption errors" and replaced with six-hour recordings of "Santa Monica Mornings" and "Santa Monica: After Dark". The Fuchi Home Services application also attempted to auto-delete the file from Fuchi branded telecoms.

>>>>>[If you haven't jailbroken your home telecom by now, you only have yourself to blame.]<<<<<

- Ingress

>>>>>[Seascape Adventures and the billion other 'virtual window' recordings they did are bottom-barrel drek, I'm surprised they scrambled to fix it so quickly.]<<<<<

- Mr. Director

>>>>>[Remember the one from that carnival in Miami that has two women making out in full view of the camera for like thirty minutes?]<<<<<

- Lazarus

>>>>>[It's still up in the Renraku App Store. #4 Best Seller.]<<<<<

- Fuse

The video still exists, notably a version cut solely to Charlie's portion. It's frequently traded and analyzed by "Lost Media" enthusiasts and experts, who usually find their way to our site sooner or later. Even cursory research into the event raises several questions. First, Fuchi's recording team uses a high-powered drone which notes any suspicious heat signatures present in the video, which would have made it obvious that Charlie had ruined their recording. 

>>>>>[Assuming the editor even bothered to look at the error list. Fuchi's recorder drones were touchy, and those lists usually filled up with trash and false positives. When you have a dozen other sixteen hour recordings to edit and five pages of bullshit each, you learn not to bother.]<<<<<

- Mr. Director

>>>>>[The theory that Charlie was a spirit or ghost is pretty popular.]<<<<<

- Placeholder Jones

>>>>>[Lots of things are popular with idiots.]<<<<<

- Mr. Director

Second, Fuchi uses armed guards to ensure their recording sessions go smoothly. It's unknown how Charlie got past them, especially since he enters the beach from a well-used and paved footpath.

>>>>>[Charlie shows up at 7:05. Minimum wage, bored, and seven hours into your shift? Charlie probably strolled right by.]<<<<<

- Vacancy

Third and most concerning: No death was reported, and no body was found.

>>>>>[This is where it gets interesting: Charlie doesn't exist. There's no record anywhere of a Charlie Nelson that fits the description. Barbara Nelson and Angela Nelson turn up too many hits to be useful, even restricting the search to Cali. ]<<<<<

- Ingress

>>>>>[Corps don't hire the sinless for jobs like risk analysis. It's possible Charlie was a runner. He calls his 'boss' Sir and mentions a job title, but plenty of top-tier teams talk in code. He tells his wife 'work' sucks, but it could've been a cover story.]<<<<<

- Shredder

>>>>>[Or his history was erased after the fact to cover something up.]<<<<<

- Ingress

>>>>>[Oh Oh, me next: OR he BECAME a runner BECAUSE he was fired. He narrowly survived killing himself and turned to a life of crime the next morning.]<<<<<

- Lazarus

>>>>>[Missed opportunity to claim he had a secret underwater supervillain base just off the coast.]<<<<<

- &T885K90M1

Until next time, all you ghouls, ghosts and exhausted archivists of lost media. As always, if you come across any information about the video, don't be a stranger. And Charlie, if you're still out there? Sorry about your job. Life's rough, eh?

Character Theme Music

 I solve this puzzle, but tumble through Hell

These words are fractions when I needed primes

Curses, these verses are my prison cell

I try to pick a theme song for every character. A lot of people do this, apparently, some even putting together entire playlists.  It isn't always easy. Music conveys emotion, tone and feel in a way nothing else can. I don't consider this a vital part of creating a character, but you can get a ton of information across in a very short amount of time with music. It's not as though you're making a permanent choice, either: If the song no longer fits...just pick a new one. Do a new theme for every era of your character. That's the beauty of a purely aesthetic choice. 

There's something to be said of picking a direct analogy in lyrics or song meaning. Being blunt is especially fun for characters who are supposed to be direct, blunt, or easy to read. You can choose a song for a lot of other reasons, though. Maybe you want the song to hint at their true nature, something they hide from everyone else. Maybe you have a feel for the genre of the character and want to pick the best candidate for conveying that. 

Really, the only solid advice I can give you is that this is a powerful tool. You can use this to convey your character's tone, or some kind of aesthetic. Or, you can reverse this and just pick off vibes then think about the exact reasons of why you think it fits. Maybe you'll learn something about your character. I know it's helped me. 

This whole post was probably just a preface to going over my own characters and talking about their themes. It's fine, it's my blog and I really wanted to do that. I should note that some of these characters have had different themes in the past, and that's okay. Characters change over time, just like people do. 

Oh, and in the spirit of keeping this post from being a dead link nightmare, I'm relying on you to just search the songs I'm talking about. It can't be that hard. 

Inkless

They Might be Giants - Road Movie to Berlin

Time won't find the lost, it'll sweep up our skeleton bones

Inkless had an entire soundtrack at one point, full of 80s pop and punk music. That music still definitely fits her: it's in her nature to be anti-establishment, even rowdy. Since the soundtrack is gone, I thought I'd be extra unhelpful and choose a song that wasn't even on it to convey something a bit different about her. 

So this song is explicitly about the Berlin wall, written during a time that it was "obvious" that the wall would be there forever. It's also sort of about the cold war and the looming threat of nuclear destruction, at least in feel. That's not how I always saw the song, though. 

It's a bar song that never really starts or ends. It's always felt to me like yet another stop on an endless road trip: a long, solemn drive home that never really ends. In a way, that matches Inkless's life. Never literally alone, but neither having anyone she can relate to. Leaving "home", but not feeling like she found a new one yet. Spiritually (and sometimes literally), always on the road.

Pink Annis

The Crane Wives - Tongues and Teeth

I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel, it's all that I can give to you, my dear

Tongues and Teeth is a song about resenting your partner for staying with you and wanting to help(or 'fix') you. It has themes of feeling that you're is too toxic, mean or even broken to help. They're telling their lover to quit before it escalates: because it will escalate. For Pink, the song is about her and humanity: the unshakeable notion that she's too strange and monstrous to fit in, even if she has no problem looking the part. She doesn't think human society is something meant for her, or even something she could fit into if she tried. 

Pink would probably tell you she's a punk. However, the Crane Wives playing with acoustic instruments and even a banjo on this track probably fits her better than she'd admit. She's not (exactly) an anachronism, but definitely something older than she appears, or even older than she thinks she is. The song's mixture of anger and passion with smooth, acoustic music fits her well.

Shivani Sedana

Ghost - Spillways

You keep a casket, deep within

You try to mask it, but fall back in sin

Spillways is about bottling up your pain ultimately just making your problems worse. The song presents the idea that the only way you're going to feel(or be) better is pulling your darkness up to the surface and embracing it. 

A gothic sound that isn't especially sad or gloomy is perfect for Shivani, so Ghost's cool, smooth goth metal fits particularly well. In addition to that, the song's message about true nature might be something she needs to hear. In a lot of ways, Shivani is hanging on to the past and even an identity that no longer fits her. She'll probably always struggle with cyberpsychosis, but pushing her feelings aside and trying to ignore the problem is never going to help.

Aikiyo the Mockery

Wagakki Band - Ikusa

I never lost a beat

since that windswept day

Wagakki Band mixes traditional Japanese instruments with modern ones, so immediately I knew that's what I wanted for Aikiyo. What stands out to me is the music combining the sounds of electric guitar and heavy metal drums with shakuhashi (bamboo flute) and koto (plucked zither). This perfectly describes Aikiyo, because she's a mechanical martial artist, a construct who studies swordplay exclusively. She lives in two different worlds simply by existing.

I'm not gonna go on and on about the lyrics or the meaning, because I could be pretty far off from what it actually means. Real Japanese to English lyric translations are very hard to find. I will say the lyrics I did find reminded me strongly of a duel, of two people meeting on a battlefield. They remind me of the kind of battlefield honor that Aikiyo feels is important, but tries to hide. 

[~=~=~]

I could be wrong on what all these songs mean, so cut me some slack. Of course, it doesn't even matter that much if I am. We're doing this to convey vibes, ultimately. I'm sure I've made it inside the ballpark, and nitpicking specific meanings or themes would probably be disingenuous. I might do another one of these where I pick themes for characters who never had them, or even themes for other people's characters. That might be nice, and even slightly less indulgent than this was. 

Shadowrun(3e) Weapon Showdown pt. 2: Meta Firearms Mambo

 John, I've been bad,

and they're coming after me

Done someone wrong,

and I fear that it was me...

I could use a bit of comfort content so we're still doing the near-neurodivergence level of hyperfocused SR3 infodump. I wanted to sort of write a guide on firearms in SR3. They're pretty easy to interpret on their own, but there's a lot of them and I wanted to showcase how many different use cases there can be in Shadowrun. Of course this only applies to SR3, though: I've got limited play experience with the others and anyway, both 5e and 6e collapse the range of your options a bit, for the better. 

Before I begin I wanted to say that I'm not weighing the accessories the guns are packaged with very highly. Unless it's something that's unique, the extra cost and impact on conceal(if any) is somewhat trivial. What I'll do instead is give generalized suggestions on accessories each category should be using. 

Finally, a note on targeting systems: Obviously a cybernetic Smartlink-2 and Rangefinder system is best, but not all of us are chromed. Without 'ware you can use smart goggles, or you also have the option to use an extended range laser sight and a mag-3 scope. This is the only time I'm gonna mention this, so just keep it in mind if you're gearing up a physad, mage, or just someone who doesn't have the room for a smartlink-2. 

Loadout Philosophy

Put simply, every character who uses firearms ought to have three of them. The first should be a gun focused on carrying it all the time, something that's decent in a fight but has an eye on concealability. Your GM may vary, but even attempting to conceal a weapon goes a long way with cops. The second is a gun for stealth missions: something that has a silencer and/or something extremely concealable that can be smuggled into a building past guards and MADs. Your choice depends on your methods. The third is a weapon purely built for killing, to be pulled out only when you don't care who sees you. Frequently, these categories can mix: if all you use are pistols, your EDC and your "loud" gun are probably going to be the same one. Regardless of your skills, you should keep these three roles in mind. 

Ammo types are mostly easy to interpret, but I'm putting some notes here for you. First, the difference between capsule and gel rounds is that delivering a chemical means your successes on the attack go toward scaling the chemical, not the stun damage. You can not choose otherwise. Capsule rounds are powerful and interesting, but gimmicky. 

Next, a note on EX Explosive ammo vs. APDS. You may think that APDS is universally better than ex-ex because of the cost and availability, but consider this: APDS only pulls ahead if the target's ballistic armor rating is 6 or more. Underneath that, it's only reducing armor by 2 points...the same(essentially) as EX Explosive. Those APDS bullets are expensive, so consider your loadout carefully. If you're dealing with ganger punks in armor jackets...save your nuyen.

Finally, there are a lot of ammo types that are resisted with double armor in some way, either double impact or ballistic plus impact, or what have you. These ammo types have limited usefulness in general, usually only for moments when you're taking called shots to unarmored portions of the body. In these instances, Glazer rounds are best...but honestly, I think you should see this as an extreme niche and not something every character should be buying. Form-fit armor is decently popular, and can ruin your plans even with its 4/1 armor rating. 

Heavy Pistols

I want to note here that hold-out, light and machine pistols are generally not worth using. Their downsides and lack of damage don't make up for the few extra points of concealability you get. If you're concerned with hiding a weapon, a Morrisey Elite inside a concealable holster and underneath a Long Coat is a concealability of 12. That's a lot. 

Accessories: Smartlink, Rangefinder, Personalized Grip, Concealable Quick-draw Holster. First off, the only recoil you need to worry about is the +1 for your second shot in the round(but see below), so your personalized grip will take care of it.  This also means you're free to put a silencer on these guns if you want. After all, these are the most common silenced firearms in the game for a reason. Pistols are also one of the few categories of weapon you're able to use a concealed holster with, as well as quick draw. You should take advantage of that functionality every time you're able. 

Every-Day Carry: You really can't go wrong here. For every day use in a wide range of situations, most heavy pistols are okay. The Morrissey Elite trades clip size for an amazing conceal of 7, but the Browning Ultra-Power or Morrissey Ultra are decent concealable guns as well. If you don't care about concealability that much, there's always the old standard, the Predator III. 

Quiet Time: The WW Infiltrator isn't available at chargen, but fools MADs and disassembles into items which look like luggage accessories. For a concealed weapon with a huge punch, the Eichiro Hatamoto II chambers a single shotgun round, and has the stopping power you'd expect from that. Finally, for simple infiltration, you really can't go wrong with slapping a silencer on your EDC gun just before your run starts. Pistols generally don't need barrel mounted accessories, so even characters with no stealth skills at all should carry around a silencer to mount on their pistol. 

Loud Crowd: Boringly, your core damage option is going to be firing twice with a 9M pistol. Any one of them. You really may as well make purchases based on the Quiet Time section above, even if you're the party's Plan B. A few other weapons bear mentioning, however. We spent years thinking the Savalette Guardian and its ability to fire a burst as a complex action was the king of weapons, but I don't believe that any more. Blowing a complex action for a burst seems worthwhile only if your regular shots are flattening against someone, because of armor or body attribute(or both). For high armor targets or called shots, though, I guess it's handy to have the option. The game's big-time revolver, the Ruger Super Warhawk, can also be seen in a similar light to the Guardian. It can't be silenced and it's single-shot only, but...who knows, maybe you have something to do with that other simple action. Careful Aim comes to mind: a Ruger loaded with ex-ex or APDS and used for called shots after a careful aim action could be a valid option. 

SMGs

Accessories: Smartlink, Rangefinder, Personalized Grip, Folding Stock, Underbarrel Weight, Gas Vent IV. As you can see, we're trying to get your recoil compensation up to ten for maximizing Full Auto fire. You won't get there with a stock firearm without some external factors like a cyberarm gyromount or foot anchors, but we can get you to 7 easily. This is also a category that can use concealable quick-draw holsters, so long as your SMG has a conceal of 4 or above.

Every-Day Carry: The Heckler & Koch HK227, HK227-S, and MP-5 TX all combine a 7M damage code with full-auto fire and respectable conceal ratings. The HK227-S has a sound suppressor, however, so see notes on that below. Outside of that, most of the options here are good if you don't mind accepting a 6M damage code, with the Colt Cobra series and AK-97 Carbine both having all three fire modes. The Ingram Warrior bears mentioning for having a 7M damage code, but no full-auto mode.

Notes On Fire Modes: Full Auto is a benefit to you even if you can't effectively use it in a straightforward manner. It allows Cover Fire and Searching Fire as options, both of which have plenty of uses in combat outside of "kill the mans as fast as possible". Therefore, having full auto capability on your weapon is a benefit even if you can't use it as well.

Quiet Time: You give up your gas vent for a sound suppressor, meaning the most recoil comp we can squeeze into the gun is 3 without some external factor. It means you'll be using full-auto solely for cover or searching fire and otherwise attacking with bursts. SMGs aren't great for quiet infiltration, but you could do worse. 

Loud Crowd: I'm only putting this section here to say that it really isn't necessary. Having an easily concealed but powerful firearm is literally the point of SMGs, so there isn't a need to have a "Plan B" SMG...it simply wouldn't be very different from your every-day SMG.

Shotguns

Wow, so there aren't special sections with funny names here, are there? That's because we've landed on our first uniquely powerful weapon, the SPAS-22. It has a folding stock(something not technically allowed for custom firearms), burst fire capability, and can be sawn off. It lowers the damage code by 1, but with a 9S weapon the size of a pistol with a conceal of 6? You'll manage. You need six points of recoil compensation, which you can accomplish via personalized grip, the SPAS's stock, and gas vent IV. Make sure to cover your ass here, because shotguns double uncompensated recoil modifiers. 

Every other shotgun is worse than the SPAS-22. It isn't by a lot in most cases, but they're all worse. 

Rifles

I'm not gonna insult you by laboriously going over your choice of six guns. You can tell the difference. However, I did want to bring up the Barrett 121. It has a higher damage level than the other sniper rifles, but has special +2 per shot recoil and can only fire its own special ammunition. These drawbacks ensure that it isn't worth it to use this gun over the other two sniper rifles. Firstly, the recoil may come up: with a personalized grip, shock pads and its bipod you're able to mitigate two shots worth of recoil...until you're not able to use that bipod. It can't mount a gas vent, either. Second(and more important), its 14-availability ammunition means you'll either struggle to find it, or pay through the nose. In a pinch, the Ranger Arms SM-3 and Walther MA-2100 can both fire the regular rounds that you bought at Dick's. If you're wondering why Dick's Sporting Goods is carrying .50 caliber sniper rifle rounds, well...welcome to 2065. 

Assault Rifles

First off, let's not imply that an assault rifle is part of anyone's EDC. Don't be that guy. 

Accessories: Smartlink, Range Finder, Personalized Grip, Gas Vent IV, Shock Pads, Underbarrel Weight(see below). Just like SMGs above, we're maximizing your recoil compensation. This is another weapon type that benefits a lot from being able to use full auto, but AT MINIMUM you want six points so you can fire two bursts in a round and still hit whatever you're aiming the gun at. This weapon type more than any others has loads of underbarrel accessory options, so weigh those against the simple +1 RC from the underbarrel weight or foregrip. 

Loud Crowd: People buy assault rifles because you can put underbarrel grenade launchers on them, so the Ares Alpha Combat Gun stands out. In addition to having one of those, it's also got a "special chamber design" that's worth 2 points of recoil compensation. Other assault rifles come close, but none of the other ones have that special chamber. It can't mount an underbarrel weight, but you're still a full point above other options, even if they choose not to mount a grenade launcher.

Quiet Time: I'm just gonna reiterate here that silencing a weapon means giving up your gas vent system. In this case, it puts the Alpha even further ahead the other guns: with its special chamber, personalized grip, and shock pads, you can get to 4 RC and still keep your grenades. You want to get up to 6 RC so you can fire two bursts, and a -1 from a STR of 6 is a pretty easy start. 

Custom Firearms

I'm not gonna give a rote explanation of the custom firearm rules, because I think they're pretty simple. However, I should point out what this system is good at creating. I'm leaving out one or two arguably-shouldn't-be-allowed options like the assault rifle with a conceal of 7, because that build's not even that hard to find. 

Unique Options. Barrel Extension, Selectable Clip, and Ceramic Components are all things that don't show up in book standard firearms. I personally find Selectable Clip handy as hell.

Concealability. With stuff like bullpup design and barrel reduction, it's pretty easy to get a weapon's conceal rating up, even with shotguns or assault rifles. While this can go overboard with the larger weapons, it's still important to note.

Recoil Compensation. Thanks to Heavy Barrel, Bullpup Configuration, and integral recoil compensation, custom large weapons can be up to 4 RC above stock weapons. This is particularly helpful if you're set on a silenced assault rifle. 

@}-,-'--

Thank you for putting up with all this content written on an arguably-busted niche edition of a game. I love SR3 and, as the years go by, I'm starting to think that my posts are all the love it's going to get. If nothing else, I'm having a lot of fun revisiting a game from my childhood with much more expertise and knowledge under my belt. 

Oh, and one final word: if the FBI or police are reading this post, please google "Shadowrun" before kicking my door down and scaring my Mom. Thanks. <3

Things that it's weird that Shadowrun 3rd Edition Doesn't Have, Part 2

 Okay, Weaver, Listen carefully: You can hold on to your Red Snapper, or you can go for what's in the box that Hiro-san is bringing down the aisle right now!

What's it gonna be?

I'm fascinated by the number of things a system skates past. It's usually in the spirit of this stuff just not coming up that much: when a system provides a lot of different solutions for problems already, they usually don't care as much about adding the few weird or atypical ones. Book real estate is important, after all. Lucky for me that real estate on this blog isn't important at all, and I can fill it with whatever I want. There's a lot more of this stuff in modern or futuristic settings, and even more of it when your group trends toward calculated or subtle. Here's a random assortment of objects, most of which trend toward that level of careful action.

Gun Cases

Alright, so one of SR3's most memorable jokes is the street lingo "Panther Cozy", which is any pathetic attempt to conceal a very large weapon like the Panther Assault Cannon. I lol'd at this joke for an actual twenty years without realizing something: In the real world, people put guns in locked fucking cases to transport them. I promise you the panther had a case when you fucking purchased it. Now, obviously this isn't a 'gotcha', a gun case often(usually) looks exactly like a gun case and it's not as if Lone Star will skip searching your bags if they stop you. However, a case is a damn sight better than walking down the street with an assault rifle wrapped in a hoodie, and some gun security might even help the party's street samurai from carrying their biggest weapons around like a security blanket for fear they'll be stolen while they're not home. 

Plus, if the players ever find an expensive weapon like an ARES MP Laser III, it would be fucking bizarre if it wasn't at least in a locked case, right? Imagine a 200k weapon just lying on a table. Picture a monowhip tucked into someone's waistband.

	Conceal	Weight	Availability	Cost	Street Index	Legality
Standard	-	2	Always	100¥	0.75	Legal
Large	-	5	Always	200¥	0.75	Legal
Extra Large	-	10	4/48 hrs	500¥	1	Legal

Standard cases are able to fit a single pistol or SMG sized weapon. Large cases can fit four smaller weapons, or a single rifle, assault rifle, shotgun, or similarly sized weapon. An Extra Large case can fit eight pistol, three rifle, one larger weapon such as a machine gun, launcher, or assault cannon. All cases are lined with foam that can be re-arranged into a variety of configurations. Cases come in a variety of styles and finishes, with some even being limited-edition gifts from manufacturers or fashion corporations. While the most cases feature a maglock linked to a keypad, higher-grade cases can feature anything from biometric to facial recognition or voice print locks. 

All gun cases have a barrier rating of 3 and a rating 2 maglock. Additional barrier rating costs 500¥ per point, to a maximum barrier rating of 12. Higher grade maglocks can be installed via the costs and availability on pg 293 of the SR3 core book. Additional information on maglocks can be found on pg 100 of SOTA 63.

Melee Weapon Holsters

The core book says holsters are for pistols, that's it. Cannon companion has a broader view, with defining it as pistol-sized weapons. I'd like to point out that the core book's definition of "pistol sized" is concealability of 4 or greater, which frankly feels pretty wrong in the first place. So with the knowledge that this is already pretty obfuscated, I just wanted to say that I see no reason that a suitable melee weapon couldn't be put in a concealed sheath via the same rules as concealed holsters. The real world has plenty of examples of this, anyway.

Vehicle Smuggler Compartments

So yeah, this is even something the game talks about existing but never actually presents rules for, and smuggler runs sound like a core Shadowrun job to me. It goes without saying that I don't think this should be a stock modification on any vehicle.

Customization Specifications

Parts Cost: 1,500¥ per Rating

Parts Availability: 4/48hrs

Base Time/Skill Test: 16hrs/ Appropriate Vehicle B/R

Target Number: Rating - 3

CF Consumed: See Below
Load Reduction: 15 kg

The CF Consumed is the CF available in the smuggler compartment. A maximum of 10% of the vehicle's CF (before modification) can be dedicated to a hidden compartment. The rating of the modification represents the target number to find the compartment during a search: finding a compartment simply by looking inside the vehicle should be much harder. 

Cyberlimb Internal Storage

Listen I think it's pretty weird to have like, a box inside your arm for your things. I can't deny how useful it'd be, though, and cyberlimbs can use a bit of love(post forthcoming). The cyber holster effectively "eats" a point of ECU with its mechanism, costing 4 but storing 3. I think that's a fine trade-off for a specialized holster(something you can even quick-draw from) but I can't imagine a simple compartment needing that mechanism. Therefore, I think it's easy to just have a player pay 1,000¥ per ECU they want to dedicate to storage and reason what can be put inside it via the usual ECU rules on pg. 37 of M&M. 

Partially Modular Cyberlimbs

This is more an observation than anything else. We have modular partial cyberlimbs, but no rules for fully modular cyberlimbs(I see no reason we can't just use the same rules) or partly modular cyberlimbs. I think something that doesn't cost the player essence could just be made modular via the same rules, 10% extra cost. That way, it could be swapped for a device(or group of devices) that have the same modification. 

Very Stupid Vehicles: The Birdhouse Sparrow

Skateboarding teaches you how to take a fall properly. If you try to kickflip down some stairs, it might take you thirty tries - and you just learn how to take a tumble out of it without getting hurt.

The joy of Shadowrun 3e is the vehicle, spell and firearm creation system. I can't help using them all the time, even though Shadowrun provides plenty of things in those three categories to satisfy whatever you need. It's just cool to build something unique, something that serves as a signature to your character. I'm gonna start wantonly abusing this system to create things that don't normally fit inside these rules neatly. Enjoy!

I want to say, as a minisode of Things That It's Weird That Shadowrun Doesn't Have, that we do have rules for skateboards and in-line roller skates in form of the rules for cyberskates. I see no reason to alter the rules at all from what's presented there. If you want, you can provide mild (TN 4 or 5) challenges for needing to grind or jump something, but in general it just increases your running multiplier. That's not a big deal. This may cause a "dominant strategy" of everyone carrying a skateboard everywhere, but... I don't think it's a big deal. This thing is meant to be some ridiculous fun, and not a "power option" for the party's street samurai to rocket down facility hallways at mach one. If you allow this and it gets abused, feel free to put the fear of death into your PCs with some crash tests. 

~-=[+]=-~

Birdhouse remains a potent force in the world of Skateboarding. Their new line of boards featuring electric motors and a host of assistance features debuted at the X-Games in 2065 during a special showcase. Veteran skater(and long-time Birdhouse sponsor recipient) Danni Smithfield took to a half-pipe to show what the new boards had to offer and the tricks that could be accomplished with them. The astonishing segment had Danni dozens of feet in the air, hitting tricks that would be impossible with normal boards. The fact that Danni is a physad was quietly left out of promotional materials. 

Birdhouse electric boards come in a variety of models and styles and are packaged with a wrist-mounted control that can give the board limited commands. Some models also feature speed control via foot-mounded pads on the front of the board or a system that detects weight shifts. The Kestrel and its dangerous top speed is notorious in the community for causing injury, with the model frequently called "a great advertisement for Bone Lacing". 

Both models remain popular, though the high price tag ensures that its users are mostly professionals and teens from rich families. This fueled a divide in the community, with many skaters(even some high-profile veterans) considering the boards in violation of the philosophy of skating, and a growing threat to a sport that already has many connections to the shadows. They were saw as boards for rich kids, who had fancy high-tech skate parks and weren't ever harassed by Lone Star. In addition to the models being unpopular with the community, they've also been criticized by parent groups for being "insanely, preposterously dangerous". In response to the accusations that the boards are too dangerous to use, Birdhouse reaffirmed its purchase policies and began offering courses in safety and usage of the electric boards. In addition, Birdhouse has launched a new line of protective equipment for use with the Birdhouse Kestrel. 

Mechanics. It is not possible to rig or use datajack controls while driving this vehicle. Use all applicable rules for driving, with the exception that the skill used for driving tests is Athletics. The board's wrist control functions as a miniature remote control deck with a flux of 0 that can not be accessed via datajack and only accepts voice or physical commands. Adding a powered deck to a real remote control network is possible, but requires an Electronics(B/R) 4 and Electronics 4 check in addition to any other work. The base time for these checks is 4 hours. 

Collisions while driving a powered board treat the driver as a pedestrian in terms of damage.

Birdhouse Sparrow

Hand	Speed	Accel	Body	Armor	Sig	Auto	Pilot	Sensor	Cargo	Load
3	50	6	1	0	8	-	1	1	2	10
Seating	Entry	Fuel	Econ	S/B	L/T	Chass		SI	Availability	Cost
-	-	50 PF	1km/pf	3 min	-	Sm. Crawler		1	5/1 Week	21,625¥

Birdhouse Kestrel

Hand	Speed	Accel	Body	Armor	Sig	Auto	Pilot	Sensor	Cargo	Load
3	100	10	1	0	8	-	1	1	2	10
Seating	Entry	Fuel	Econ	S/B	L/T	Chass		SI	Availability	Cost
-	-	50 PF	1km/pf	3 min	-	Sm. Crawler		1	8/10 days	30,625¥

Birdhouse Cityshell Protective Gear

Cityshell gear is a specialized variant of the Rapid Transit jumpsuit line commissioned from Victory by Birdhouse. It features gel padding and densiplast plates as other Rapid Transit jumpsuits, but also features high-tech fabric designed to reduce damage from skids, slides or road rash, and extra contoured plates in the areas a skater would typically be injured. They come in a variety of fits and styles, and their patterns can be changed via an electric charge in the same way a Rapid Transit suit can. 

In addition to the following statistics, Cityshell protective gear reduces collision damage by one level when suffered as a result of failing an athletics test with a skateboard, powered skateboard, or other similar extreme sports device.

Conceal	Ballistic	Impact	Weight	Availability	Cost	Street Index	Legality
-	0	4	2	4/48hrs	1,000¥	1	Legal

Shadowrun (3e) Weapon Showdown

 "I am completely out of ammo. That's never happened to me before."

I wonder if some of you are getting tired of niche content for a game nobody but me and my group plays. Hi, guys! You're the only ones who might care about this post. I'm not doing great, so I thought I'd bang out some helpful philosophy and information, even if it's ridiculously specific. Today we're talking about weapon skills in SR3. 

I should say something general before diving into the analysis of Shadowrun 3e, and detailing my guidelines might help someone analyze a game they actually play. First, ask yourself what's important in your system beyond damage. Concealability, utility, and ammo costs, for example. I promise you that stacking the most damage possible isn't always a good idea, and you'll see plenty of that below. Next would be accessibility and usability. In SR3's case this is trends of Availability Numbers, but in other systems this might be proficiency requirements, general rarity, or even what feats you need to take to make a weapon "work". The final consideration is if the system you're looking at is tilted in a particular direction. You can understand why melee weapons aren't very valuable in Mechwarrior, I hope. 

Anyway. Let's go. 

Edged Weapons. The Cadillac of melee weapons. Plenty of concealable options and plenty of options for raw killing power. They can accept dikote to increase damage further, meaning a short Cougar Fineblade is (STR+1)S for a conceal of 8, making it a dominant strategy for a lot of characters. It has two shortcomings: one is the obvious idea that you're not subduing anyone with an edged weapon. The other is that none of these weapons have a reach above 1: so if you come into contact with someone that has major reach, you need to have learned a martial art in addition so you can apply Close Combat. 

Clubs. You know, this whole thing started because I kinda wanted to play someone who uses clubs and I was disappointed with the options. Clubs are great at subduing people with stun damage, but other weapons can accomplish that. It has a great concealable stun damage option with the extending baton, but other weapons can do that as well. It's also locked to reach-1 weapons and none of them can benefit fully from dikote. The only time I can justify this skill is for someone who isn't invested into combat very much and wants to use a stun baton. It's a great weapon, especially considering that shock damage can cause target number penalties. It's just that there are other skills which have access to shock weapons too... and they have more than one good weapon. The final saving grace to clubs is that you can gun-bash with it if your hands are occupied and your GM is a real bastard about that kind of thing. I should note that this sort of heavy-handedness isn't supported by any of the book's listed rules.

Pole Arms/Staffs. Not very concealable, but very effective. These are all reach-2 weapons with superior damage codes. There are some decent subduing options like bo staff or telescoping staff. There's also combat axe, spear and claymore if you want to murder people. These truly are the Heavy Weapons of the melee set: very powerful but limited in application. At least, in most games. Nothing's going to conceal most of these weapons, and having a weapon you didn't even try to conceal pretty much guarantees that Lone Star officers have to stop you. 

Whips. The Porche of melee weapons. Remember when I said there's better subduing weapons? The Manriki-Gusari has a somewhat poor damage code, but it's a reach-2 weapon with a concealability of a whopping ten. This means that even high-quality MAD machines struggle to point this thing out. The damage code means you have to be pretty good at using it, however. Whips also have the slightly-more-murderier Kusari-gama with a similar concealability. Whips also has one of Shadowrun's holy grails, the monowhip. The monowhip is the only source of melee-based 1/2 impact armor damage in the entire game, but is also incredibly dangerous to use.  If you're willing to deal with Ninjutsu, you can even apply some great maneuvers to whips. It's strange to say, but this skill is one of the game's best melee options.

Cyber-Implant Weaponry. Extremely effective, full stop. Their damage profile looks mediocre at first glance, but they can be dikoted and hand blades have a great bonus to power. cyber-implant weaponry also gain a large power bonus if you've got two of them. This is in addition to two-weapon combat. These are technically the most effective melee weapons in the game if you build for it. The disadvantages may not seem so obvious, but they're significant. Firstly, they cost essence. Not much, but it's a consideration. It means you're rarely going to see cyber-implant physads. The other is that these are weapons you can't put down. You can buy retractable blades, but it's still one more thing that prevents you from walking through a MAD with confidence. Razorboys and other sammies frequently have to find other ways of entering facilities than walking straight in. However, if you're already buying cyberware... may as well get some hand blades too.

Martial Arts. Unarmed combat can be expensive thanks to required maneuver purchase, but can function wonderfully as either a supplement to your primary skill or the primary skill itself. There's a martial art that can supplement every other melee skill by teaching it maneuvers, even cyber-implant weaponry. As a primary weapon it's still pretty good, but you have limited options for increasing your attack's power. You also have access to the shock hand. The drawback here, obviously, is that it's very expensive. Not everyone has the room in their build to buy a whole melee skill, then another melee skill, then all those maneuvers. It's also not easy to deal lethal damage with unarmed combat, and generally not worth taking the maneuver that facilitates it. Killing being a better option than knocking out, however... rarely comes up. Consideration leans heavily toward the opposite in Shadowrun.

Thrown Weapons. Listen. If you wanna use grenades, you either have to take this, or launch weapons. That's your lot. Grenades have way more utility to them than The Real Big Boom, too: flash-bangs, smoke grenades and chemical splash grenades can be very powerful in the right hands. A successful team will make room for one or two people to use grenades. This also gives you access to shuriken: low damage, completely silent, and very concealable weapons. You can do worse for weapon skills.

Projectile Weapons. The Ranger-X bow is a preposterously high-power weapon which is dead silent and can only be fired once a turn unless you're a physad. You can also use funky arrowheads and pretend you're Green Arrow. Frankly, what a character can do when built specifically for the Ranger-X bow is astonishing. You know how I feel about weapon skills that only have one good weapon, though. You're either an Archer or you're not. Nobody takes this skill "just in case". 

Pistols. These may be the best weapons in the game, all things considered. While hold-out and light pistols may have limited(almost no) usefulness, heavy pistols are a shadowrunner's workhorse. Heavy pistols have superior power(which is often the real dangerous part of a damage code) while maintaining fair concealability. They can also benefit from concealed holsters, not something that(strictly RAW) melee weapons can use. Most have decent ammo counts, and they can even fit silencers with impunity since they don't need much recoil compensation. This is also the skill that handles the arguably-best chemtech weapon, the Supersquirt-II. You also get tasers, one of the game's few shock weapons and the only ranged one. The pistol's only drawback is range, with heavy pistol's short range being a mere 5 meters. This won't come up that often while you're inside a building, but it's a consideration. 

SMGs. Concealable and high-damage, but with the drawback of (almost always) being loud and needing a certain build to make full use. Burst fire is powerful, but needs recoil to be properly compensated to be effective at all. Access to full-auto fire also means full-auto tricks like cover fire and searching fire, but not every SMG gets this. They also have slightly more range than pistols. The drawback is that these frequently need to be built around for maximum effectiveness. This isn't a good weapon for the party mage or skill-monkey, but can be one of the sammy's best overall options. 

Rifles. Rifles are for distance combat. You can probably think of a hundred different scenarios a shadowrunner can use a long-distance weapon for, and you're right. You can't begin the game with sniper rifles, but sport rifles can fill in for a while. You also get the dart rifle, which isn't a great chemtech application weapon, but it's your best one for sheer range. Probably not your first choice for a weapon, but an excellent one chosen as secondary. The sheer distance can also mean a character who shouldn't be in open combat(like a stealth character, face or decker) can help out in combat. 

Assault Rifles. Just go back and read the SMG paragraph again. Seriously, though, these things are SMGs that trade conceal rating for a bit of power and much better range. This is also one of the few weapons you can justify placing an under-barrel weapon like a grenade launcher on. Not being able to conceal them is often a concern, so expect to use only after your party's gone all Plan B, or if you're marching into a Z-zone. These are solid all-around weapons, and in some ways compete with heavy weapons thanks to decent power, better accessibility, and having the same Full-Auto tricks as machine guns.

Shotguns. Superior single-shot damage and access to limited AoE via shot rounds. You can even saw the barrel off for some decent conceal: a sawn-off SPAS-22 with the stock folded has the same conceal as a heavy pistol. You also have access to some interesting shotgun-only rounds like shock lock, dragon's breath and flare rounds. If you're waiting for me to drop the other shoe and list a serious drawback... uh... they're loud? They're very loud. That's all I can think of, shotguns are fucking great. You even get to use net guns with this skill. 

Heavy Weapons. Machine guns and assault cannons. These require specialized gear or tactics, are frequently very hard to find, and will get SWAT vans and attack helicopters called on you if Lone Star spies you carrying one. They're also very hard to find, and you have limited options of heavy weapons you can begin the game with. Nobody gets to come out of the gate with a panther cannon. Heavy Weapons do the big damage, though. The real big damage. This is another 'specialized' skill: you're either a heavy weapons character or you're not. All heavy weapons will require specialized building outside of just taking the skill, including wearing a restrictive gyromount stabilization, cyberware or physad powers to reduce recoil, and(with some weapons) having to kneel before firing.  

Launch Weapons. If you don't already know everything there is to know about rocket launchers, I simply can't help you. Mortars are expensive and hard to find, but can also provide some grenade-like utility like wide-area smoke cover. This is also the skill you use for grenade launchers, which have more range(but fewer neat grenade tricks) than just throwing them by hand. If you need something asploded like a wall or a car, this is the skill you're taking. Keep this in mind, though: un-subtle teams have to be very good at what they do, or else lead short, violent lives. 

Spray Weapons. You want chemtech aoe sprayers and flamethrowers? We got those. It's about all we've got, though. Chemtech application can be very powerful, but there's probably better ways to go about it than a big tank on your back like you just read about the Mad Gasser of Mattoon. Flamethrowers can be powerful since they use the same 'aoe' choke settings as shotguns, deal damage vs. half impact armor and have the ability to light buildings and people on fire. Their damage code is lackluster, however, and the only concealable flamethrower(the Shiawase Blazer) has a mere four shots in its tank. Overall, limited use weapons that(once again) would likely be the purview of a specialist and nobody else. 

All Those Other Weird Fiddly Weapon Skills. There's a ton of skills that are only useful for one or two weapons and, if I'm being honest, most of these are just traps. Gun canes, gun bracers, eye weapons, fangs and crap...there's virtually no point. I don't think any of these things are better than just concealing a traditional weapon and working around that. The exceptions are gyrojet weapons (which are decent to use on land and the best undersea weapon)... and lasers. The lasers are OBVIOUSLY great weapons, but they're insanely hard to find and expensive. They almost feel like weapons only the GM will ever see use of. If you ever find one, though... I guess start spending that karma. I wouldn't buy the skill before having the laser in your hand, though.

What did we learn? Well, most weapons have some kind of point even if their application is limited and you'd never take them as your single, solitary weapon skill. Everyone should have a melee skill to defend themselves, and I think virtually every build can fit pistols into it. Aside from that, what skills you take have a lot to do with how your character intends to act. Characters sneaking into locations have to worry about conceal rating a lot since a high conceal may let you walk past guards or even straight through MADs. A group heavy may care a lot less so long as nobody questions the gun case in the back of their car. Don't get pulled over. A physad obviously has carte blanche to take whatever weapon they want and just throw as many dice as possible at using it. Having a wide variety of weapons available for your use isn't always a concern, after all. Sometimes you're just the Shuriken Dude or the Flamethrower Girl. If you're fine with that, I'm fine with that. 

 Just think twice before you take those eye guns. Please. 

Another Big List of Very Awesome Names: Hacker callsigns

 "Dade?"

"Yeah, Ma?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking over a TV network."

"Finish up, honey, and get to sleep."

I just felt like putting another list together as a challenge. I thought maybe that this time I'd talk a little about the process and what passes for my naming philosophy here. Whether it's shadowrunning names, hacker callsigns, or secret agent pseudonyms, a name your character chose for themselves is prime real estate for expression. Even if it's one they earned from others, it's still far more meaningful than the name they were born with. So to me, this isn't an opportunity to pass up. 

I want to get it out of the way that I think edgy names detailing how dangerous someone is aren't exactly bad. However, their best use is probably to contrast to someone's physical appearance and/or demeanor. It's compelling when someone who's earned a name like "The Plague" or "Planet Cracker" isn't what you expected when you heard those names, and it's even better when you can prove why they got those names later on. I think that the more talented someone is, the more they trend toward a name that's descriptive, colorful or even just strange. After all, they don't feel like they have anything to prove.

It's also easier to express something about your character if you choose something personal instead of just something to make people think they're dangerous. If the fact that your character is super dangerous and skillful is the only thing you can think of? I urge you to re-think your character's personality and background. Normal people have hobbies, likes and dislikes, important events in their past, philosophies that could have inspired them, or a name that they could've earned by being good at a particular thing...or even just doing it a lot. Listen to a few songs by Tech N9ne and you can probably get why he earned a nickname comparing him to a sub-machine gun: his rapid-fire cadence. 

Double meanings are a lot of fun too. Our friend Planet Cracker might be a very dangerous hacker known for taking whole systems offline, or he could just be prolific in the world of software cracking. He could be both! Someone named Bloody Mary could be particularly violent...or a hopeless alcoholic. It can be really hard to come up with two aspects of your character that come together like this, so I'll let you in on my secret: Sometimes I come up with the name first. A name popping into my head has given me a shot of inspiration more than once. It's part of why I come up with these lists! We often hold our TTRPG characters to higher standards than real people. In the real world, people have weird stuff they're into and weird little quirks or events in their life that stick with them and create nicknames. I met a guy named Popcorn Tub once. Bucket of popcorn in their PFP and everything. Like I said, names come from everywhere. 

A special note about Shadowrunner handles: A lot of them trend toward multiple words. Orange Queen, Chromed Accountant, Cigar Chomper, Neon Wraith, The Smiling Bandit, etc. There are still plenty of single-word names, but in general don't be afraid to go pretty long in this setting. Just be aware that you are GOING to get a shortened version of your callsign used on you whether you want it or not, so it's best to consider that and build it into your name from the beginning. 

Finally, some hacker-related naming advice. Most of this was "common sense" enough that I almost didn't include it, but I felt bad. The stereotype of a hacker(data specialist, decker, etc) is a tech-oriented, often tech-obsessed person who relies on their intellect and cleverness to accomplish goals. They usually came up in a culture where reputation is extremely important: they might even be arrogant or dramatic because of it. Puns, especially puns on tech terms, are going to be very common. Names centered around secrecy, thievery or crime will also be common. Names which are extremely weird are pretty memorable too, and that's very important to them. If you're making a hacker(decker, data specialist, etc), I firmly believe that you can't skip this step. You need a cool name. You can't just be Bob the Hacker. 

Though, that name certainly works for Bob the Drag Queen, so. Do what you want.

Concrete Drinker

Redline Rider

Burnout Shaman

Graverobber

Muzzler

Blowtorch Surgeon

Matrix Mortician

Cruel Candy

Glacier Cowboy

Signal Thief

Habit

Sub Standard

Dance Hall Demon

Aphasic Firewall

Itchfinger

WIPcrack

Gumbreath

Cognitophage

Antisocial Engineer

Dataline Tramp

Squidpunk

Actual Hal

Rabid Child

Bad End

Have Mallet, Will Travel

Abberationist

Backdoor Spider

Laglurker

Poetry in Stasis

Scriptfather

--[~~~~\/~~~~]--

These are way harder to do, because they're more serious than my last drill. That's why you got thirty and not fifty. Doing these drills and actually working on my naming schemes is tough, but it's taught me that I'm probably a lot better at this than the average gamer. A lot of people struggle, and I've even known one or two who are confident but awful at it. I hope these posts help. 

If I can leave you with one piece of advice, it's this: Don't be afraid to be weird. Don't ever let anyone tell you that your character has to be more normal or that a name is too strange. The real world has amazingly wild people in it, and whether their name is one they were given or one they chose for themselves doesn't matter at all.

A Big List of Very Awesome Names

Merrily the feast I'll make
Toray I'll brew, tomorrow bake
Merrily I'll dance and sing
For next day will a stranger bring
Little does my lady dream: Rumpelstiltskin is my name!

I don't know why I made this list. These names just pop into my head sometimes. Honestly, I doubt any of them are even usable. Still, if I have to suffer, so do you. Feel free to use or even mix and match these names. Some are intended as Internet/Hacker names, some are normal(There aren't enough quotation marks for that word in this context so I won't try)...but most? I doubt you can tell the difference. Shoutout to Sugar Dunkerton, a real person whose name would fit seamlessly onto this list. 

Dolores Buttergun

Macklin Grote

Slapp Hammley

Fingal Crunchman

Wonderful Dennis

Stained Jenny

Tugwug Brown

Iaim Leavington

Stanch Harkins

The Wunch

Bananas Harrington

Amy Stocklette

Bevlette Stanford

Spink "Spank" Spunk

Ding Langley

Ring Dingley

Dong Dangly

Mediocre Dennis

Answer Dancer

Doctor Gun

Special Chills

Spectral Chimp

Species Chance

Dog Friend

Cat Enemy

Turtle Acquaintance

Coco Shame

Terrible Dennis

Slack Action (courtesy of the graffiti on the Warhol Bridge)

The Brunch Goblin

Randold Arnall

Actual Size

Whump Stumpington

The Blame Rancher

Vertical Betty

Dustin Debris

Wicked Short Ron

Ann Ville

Beau Dega

Hieronymous Ugrunt

Horkins

Rhonda Redundo

Chip Danger

Dullar Sharpe

Runsible Burbank

Ringo Tenspeed

"Argyle" Agnes Angus

Danny Convict

Pismo Blunt

Accidental Pete

Well, that's fifty names for you. Good for at least fifty characters, right? Because these are all gold, obviously. Thank you for sitting through my shitpost despite the growing horrible realization that I'm probably doing this again some day. To get real for a moment, this sort of brainstorming WORKS: if you write down everything you come up with, no matter how dumb, you'll at least end up with the building blocks in front of you to piece together what you really want. As evidenced, there's actually some decent ones in this list!

As a parting piece of advice: Life's too short for normal names. Give your characters something wild that'll spark a conversation. 

Compulsive, The World's Best Flaw

 The sun shines, not out of affection, but out of compulsion.

Something that SR5 distinctly improved upon compared to SR3 is flaws. SR3 just doesn't have a whole lot of them, and I pretty firmly believe the flaws you take are an important defining factor to your character. Lucky for us, SR3 outright tells you to come up with your own flaws, and even includes a "general category" of flaw called Compulsive. Today I'm gonna list some new compulsive behavior flaws I came up with. These are for SR3, but they can surely be easily adapted to other editions with a bit of care. For SR5, I'd place these somewhere between 5 and 20 karma. Just use your judgment. 

Fitness Fanatic (-2). The character is serious about all aspects of their fitness. Their lifestyle costs are increased by ten percent to account for fitness equipment, doctor's visits, better food, vitamin supplements, or anything else the GM and player deem appropriate. In addition, the character must succeed at a Willpower (6) test to consume anything with an addiction rating, or any other substance or food deemed particularly unhealthy. The target number may be adjusted at the GM's discretion for times of desperation or extremely harmful substances. 

Shopaholic(-1 to -5). The character loves to shop. It doesn't matter what they're buying, they're addicted to the rush of joy that comes along buying something new. Every month, the character must spend at least 1000¥ per level of this flaw. This must be in objects, equipment, food, or anything else the character owns: bribes and services do not count, but experiences like concerts or a spa trip do.  If this is not done by the time lifestyle payment is due, the character loses their cool and blows the entire amount on anything with an availability of "always", and it doesn't count against this month's shopping, either. 

Fashionista(-2 or -3). Whether an aspirational poser or they came from real money and status, the character can't stand to be seen wearing pedestrian clothing. At -2, the character takes a +1 to all mental and social target numbers when dirty, unkempt, or wearing less than fine clothing. At -3, the character must wear tres chic clothing and an additional 1000¥ in wearables such as jewelry, electronics or weapons with a custom finish or engraving. 

Armor clothing costs can be increased by 50% to match appropriately with the character's fine clothing, or doubled to match with a tres chic outfit. The armored clothing must still be paired with an appropriate set of clothing. Security or mil-spec armor violates this flaw regardless of how well it's tailored. 

Gang Pride(-2). The character is proud to be a member(or former member) of a street gang. The character represents the gang's colors or uniform at all times, regardless of what else they're wearing. In addition, they must succeed at a Willpower (6) test when asked about their gang membership or clothing, or else directly and firmly state their affiliation. 

These sorts of actions aren't popular with high society or corporate types, and the character may face social penalties when dealing with them, at the GM's discretion. 

Child of the Street(-1). The opposite of Fashionista, the character can't stand to wear expensive clothing or live in comfort, finding both stifling and uncomfortable. The character takes a +1 to all target numbers while wearing anything "fine" or "tres chic". They may wear armor, but not any armor clothing that counts as fine or tres chic. In addition, when faced with a living situation better than Squatter(13 points or higher in the expanded lifestyles optional rule) they must succeed at a Willpower(8) test to stay the night, or else leave to stay outside. 

Needless to say, this flaw is incompatible with Fashionista. 

I like doing this a lot, so expect more in the future. A final note: Remember to check with the GM for the final value of these flaws. After all, they may disagree with how much they're worth at face value, or they could be running a game where they'll be more or less of a hassle. Gang Pride in a campaign where the characters are all members in a go-gang is liable to get you in a lot of trouble, for example.

I Hate the Steyr AUG-CSL

 I don't like warriors. Too narrow-minded, no subtlety. And worse, they fight for hopeless causes. Honor? Huh! Honor's killed millions of people, it hasn't saved a single one. 

Equipment lists often have sub-standard or even useless gear in them from the player's point of view. I mean, that's fine. The biggest culprit is probably the D&D 3.X/PF armor list, but these things would logically exist in the world. Not everyone is going to have access to the best stuff, and they'd have to make due with brigandine, chain mail, half-plate, or what have you. It's helpful for the GM too: they can give enemies worse gear to soften an encounter. Shadowrun is no different, and has lots of gear a runner might not have much use for, but an NPC might. 

This sub-standard gear usually has some justification for its existence, even if it's nothing a PC would touch. Corporate execs might want a light or hold-out pistol because of the weight or style, or because they can just directly get APDS ammo from their corporation's armory. A ganger might buy a vibro knife instead of a cougar fineblade for its intimidating thrum when it's turned on, or they might carry around a rattan stick because their daily itinerary is mostly filled with harassing shop clerks for protection money.

But I do have a limit. I understand that Shadowrun may even have its fill of dumb hipster shit in it, but it's really rare that you find a piece of gear that utterly can't justify its existence beyond the consumer being pretty stupid. This is where the AUG-CSL comes in. 

Real life does have modular weaponry that uses the same pieces to build weapons with multiple functionalities. Shadowrun isn't really set up for this in its mechanics, so we have this thing. It's a weapon "system" that can be rearranged into four different configurations: an assault rifle, a carbine rifle, an SMG and an LMG. My issues are numerous and my rage is immeasurable, but I'll try to list them here in no order. 

One. While my local game has adapted skill groups that soften this problem, it's really super rare for people to take many weapon skills. It just doesn't come up. The Rifles skill is often useful for extreme range combat or assassination, but it's pretty rare someone has more than one of SMGs, Assault Rifles, and Heavy Weapons: They all do the same thing. They makes the bullet go super fast. The three weapon types do have differences I'm not going to go into here, but suffice to say that skill points are at a premium. Nobody has the room to learn a bunch of gun skills. 

Two. Only one of the forms really has any value. The Carbine Rifle configuration is a rifle that can burst fire: It(and the HK G38, a virtually identical weapon to the AUG-CSL) is the only source of this capability outside of building your own weapon. The other three are just lackluster, common weapons in their category with no decent accessories. Their damage codes are competitive, thank god. In fact, they only differ in the following ways: their concealability rating, the skill it takes to use them, and their range. Basically, this means all you're doing is bolting more parts on to progressively increase the range of your weapon, something that's got a limited usefulness to begin with: a lot of your encounters are probably taking place inside fifty meters. That is, after all, about half a football field.  

Three. It's expensive and hard to find. Not much to say here, it's twice the cost and harder to find than weapons which are far better than it. You also can't start the game with this piece of shit, despite it being a (almost) completely pointless weapon. Obviously this is to imply that this thing is some sort of rare proof of concept build or limited release, and that probably is what they were going for. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. 

Four. Reconfiguring the weapon requires an assault rifles B/R check. It's a simple TN, four, but it still means this stupid thing has yet another skill requirement to get any use out of it. Of course, you can probably ask your fixer to configure it to Carbine Rifle then throw all the other parts away. The fact that you can take it apart probably has some level of use, but for that you have the SA Puzzler and the WW Infiltrator, which are even better at this purpose, cheaper, and easier to find. 

So technically, this weapon might have an edge use case. If your GM is a real jerk and likes making custom firearms hard to get(I don't see the point) then it's your only source of a rifle that can burst. Even that's of an extremely limited use: This isn't a weapon you can start with, so by the time you can get this you can just get a sniper rifle. It's arguable which damage code would be better(14S sniper rifle vs. the 10D burst) but I lean toward the sniper rifle reflexively. Higher damage codes are usually better, and it's a third of the bullets fired: those special APDS assassinatin' bullets add up. 

Oh, and the HK-G38 sucks too.